Monday, May 14, 2012

b e a t

It’s one of those things people say
You can’t move on until you let go of the past
Letting go is the easy part, it’s the moving on that’s painful
So sometimes we fight it, trying to keep things the same
Things can’t stay the same though
At some point you just have to let go
Move on
Because no matter how painful it is, it’s the only way we grow

But what if we have grown & realized we can’t let go
Because that love we once had is still there
Sometimes things do stay the same but they grow to have a deeper meaning
Maybe “I love you” in the past was just an introduction to the “I love you” now
Maybe it’s just all in our heads when we have love someone so deeply,
Or maybe not

When it comes to love, we let go of what we want to let go
Sometimes our mind has released the love but our heart is still holding on with each beat

My heart is still beating & my mind is still wondering
Wondering if my heart will ever let go

Saturday, March 31, 2012

black & gold

You’re tossing & turning in the bed
Everything around seems to be dying or leaving you
You open your eyes & realize it was just a dream
You are panicking
It wasn’t the dream that scared you,
it was the thought of being alone
The thought of no one being there for you
The thought of someone not better than you,
being with the one you care for
With those thoughts
you turn to your right & realize you’re not alone
The person you are fond of is right next to you,
Sound asleep


This was the moment I realized I was over the infatuation
I started to smile at his beautiful face
His body was glowing & all I could think about were
the meaningful words he told me just a few hours prior
He was mine that morning
I scooted towards him & wrapped my body around his
I whispered in his ear and said,
“You are mine”
He started to shiver so I held him closer to me &
proceeded to kiss him on his forehead
I was no longer in like
I knew he didn’t hear me, he was in a deep sleep but
I am certain he felt something worth waking up for


The moment we said goodbye
I felt my heart relaxing
I had the thought we will see each other again
The moment my lips left his
I felt my mind ease up
I had the idea of us belonging
Then I realized I was back to black
Way back
I felt like I ran 2000 miles just to be pushed back three inches from where I started
There was no gold in sight
Just a moment in my life where I wish I could return to sleep

Friday, February 24, 2012

life learning.

I’m learning to let things go
Nothing last forever
There will be good days
There will be bad days
Great moments
Sad moments

I’m learning to be at peace with the moment
The moment when everything makes sense
It will soon go bad
It will soon get ugly
It will then make a 180 & be great again

I’m learning to love even if I don’t receive it in return
Even if it doesn’t come
I know I’m the best

Many want
A few need
More desire
To have a type of love one can’t explain

I’m still learning
Growing every second
Maturing every minute
I know I will make plenty mistakes
I just pray I keep learning from them

Friday, February 3, 2012

without it

Many say I’m a fool
But I believe I’m nothing but a hopeless
I know what I am capable of
I know my worth
I believe love will come
Love always finds a way
I am not perfect & I don’t want my love to be
We will have our ups & downs
I will piss him off
He will make me angry
But at the end of it all
Our love will get us through

I believe this to be true

Many say I’m dumb for holding on to love
I feel they are missing out for letting love go
There’s a strong possibility I will get hurt again
Someone will make me cry
But I will always give love another try

I believe this to be true.

Many say love is a myth
They say true love only happens in movies
But I know love will never do without me
So for now on
I will be worry free
Loving at my best,
As long as I can be

Sunday, January 29, 2012

runner up

My heart has always been somewhere else
Never where it should be
I’ve loved. I’ve lost.
I lost what I wanted
I loved what I didn’t need

My heart hearts challenges
It grieves mistakes
My heart loves to love
It pumps faster with doubt
My heart fears loneliness
Then it creates a place for acceptance

My heart is usually lost
Lost in a state of second place

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

my moment

There’s something about that certain feeling
That feeling when you realized you will be okay
The moment when you know someone is watching you
Taking care of you
There’s something to be said for not saying anything anymore
Where your words can’t do your thoughts justice
Explaining seems unnecessary
When your actions mean more than the words you speak
There’s something about being at peace
Knowing who you are
Knowing God has your back
There’s something about closing your eyes
Taking a deep breath & saying,
“Thank You God”
Then exhaling with ease

Thursday, January 5, 2012

the idea.

We say we want a future with someone
We say we want someone to call our own
But do we really want it?

The idea of a relationship is beautiful
The idea of being someone’s one & only can be remarkable
It can be.
Could, would, should
Should’ve Would’ve Could’ve

Many of us should’ve taken that extra step
Many of us would’ve made more of an effort if we knew what we knew today
Many of us could’ve loved him or her a little better

The idea of loving someone unconditionally will have your heart skipping beats

The reality of heartbreak will burn your deepest desires. Your idea will be ousted

We say we want that fairy tale
We say he was full of shit, she was no good
But sometimes ...
what we really mean is we were caught up in the idea