far away

You can't outrun your shadow...

*deep breath*

It's crazy how life turns out.
You build up this huge wall to protect yourself then before you know some natural disaster happens & your wall is diminished.
All the hard work you put in to build your wall means nothing now.
You want to act bad & act like nothing bothers you but that's not the case.
You can only run for so long until you get tired & your insecurities get the best of you.

If you talk to a friend, if you tell them how you feel; You should feel better?
Not the case.
Maybe I wasn't cut out to be sociable.
Maybe I was cut out to be lonely & miserable.
Your thoughts can come into reality & I believe that's what I've done.
Nothing seems positive in love, nothing seems promising in heart.
I miss my uncle.
I miss our talks.
I miss the happy side of me he always knew to get out.
This poem is all about me.

A poem doesn't have to rhyme.
A poem is expressing whatever it is that's going on in your head, my head.

I should see a shrink, I should see a pastor.
I can't wait to see God.
He has a lot of explaining to do.
I'm not sure why these thoughts are in my head.
The older I get the worst they become.
I don't fear death anymore but I do hide from love when I really want to grab it from everyone.

Days will get better, the sun will soon shine.
I will be better than I was before.
It's me whom I'm fighting against, its me who I must comfort.
I deal & I deal until my cards run low.
I'm trying to feel only whats good in my soul.
It may not be much but I have some desire.