loved.

I’ve experienced a lot in the past 11 months
I have loved someone deeply
I even said “ I love you” a few times

We slow danced to Rascal Flatts
I had given him my all
I even bought him long stemmed roses

I’ve traveled a few times to see him
I have written many poems about him
I even go on his facebook page to see his pictures

We walked on the beach holding hands
I had given him a massage while our favorite songs were playing
I even brought him around my family

I’ve cared so much
I have seen the magnitude of my love
I even cried

I was true
I was honest
I was real

I wanted him to love me like I loved him
I needed him to be my friend
I wanted him to talk to me like I talked to him
I needed him to be my vessel

For me to worry
For me to think about him all day
For me to fight for what I believed
I was a fool

I was a distant dreamer
I was blinded by reality
I was a young man who fell in love
For me to be out my mind

Then …

I remember his face when I surprised him in April
I remember us running after each other at the park
I remember waking up & looking into his eyes
I remember the look he gave me when I first told him I loved him
I remember tickling him until he begged me to stop
I remember the way he said my name when we were making love

Then I remembered …

How foolish I felt when I came to see him
How empty I felt when the anniversary arrived
How my heart melted when he laughed
How did I get so deep

I got addicted to loving someone
I got addicted to being caring
I was finally on my last cry for help

Now…

I have the strength to say I’m tired
Now I have the right to leave it alone
I finally loved truthfully & faithfully

I just pray I will not gain bitterness
I just pray for him & his happiness
I just pray whomever the next person for me maybe…

He loves me like I LOVED,
Loving me right the first time around because now I know my worth

So my journey begins…