Wednesday, February 2, 2011

uncle




written on 1/10/11


I’m not sure what to do
I’m not sure what to say
I could cry but I don’t want to feel weak
I could laugh but I don’t want to seem happy

Two weeks ago; my life changed
I didn’t realize how strong I could be
Or how strong I could pretend to be

I lost my love
My best friend
My father
My uncle

We always said we loved each other after every phone call
Sometimes in between conversations
He made me laugh; he made me think about my life
He was my angel

I lost my twin
My counselor
My teacher
My mentor

When I’m alone the tears fall
When I’m alone I smile effortlessly
When I’m alone I think about how he made me feel
How I trusted him so

He knew my secrets
He knew me
He knew my heart
He knew me

Two weeks ago; my life changed
But I can no longer be selfish
It was his time to leave me

No more suffering, no more crying, no more pain
No more doctor visits, no more dialysis, no more misery

I learned to never complain because it could always be worse
My uncle was the strongest man I ever came in contact with
My uncle was the best gift God could have ever given me

I am thankful

*continues crying*

3 comments:

AJ said...

I've gone through the same thing. But with time, we adjust. We get better. They'll be in our hearts forever. They can still hear us when we talk to them. It still hurts sometimes. We'll still cry every now and then. But we will be fine.

He wants you to keep living, Pep. He's fine now.

ready4now said...

How do you do it? You have expressed what I am feeling and unable to say. You give me such relief. Its like you see in my soul. Your words once again they move me... I am touched

Mahad said...

One must celebrate the light of those we've embraced. Celebrate this spirit when you get the chance, lying in sorrow to long won't honor the. My condolences to you and the family.